Letters to Josie
by Amberlee26
Summary: When Jocelyn Dubois is summoned home to attend her beloved grandmother’s funeral she never imagined that she would be bequeathed a boxful of letters. The letters piece together the story of her grandmother's life and forever change Josie's life


Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. Josie is however my creation.

Chapter 1

The sky was stormy and the air was heavy with the promise of rain but the bleak atmosphere perfectly suited my grim mood. Cloudy skies and sunshine would have seemed sacrilegious. As the priest finished the service and the casket was finally lowered to the ground it suddenly hit me that grandmother was gone and I felt the numbness that had kept me in state of shock from the moment I'd learned of her death give way to grief.

I let the tears I had not been able to shed until now flow freely and crouched on the soft ground, dropping the white roses I clutched in my hand atop grandmother's coffin. As I kneeled there, my shoulders hunched against the rain and my heart aching with pain, I felt a hand touch my shoulder. The touch was soft and hesitant and I knew without looking up who had come to join me in my mourning.

Ignoring my apathy she kneeled next to me and I wondered idly if she realized that the mud was likely to ruin both her outfit and her shoes. The thought amused me and I felt a small grin curve my lips. My amusement faded quickly however and I suddenly felt dizzy with grief. It wasn't fair, I thought rebelliously. The grandmother I remembered had been vibrant and full of life. She couldn't just be gone.

"Why didn't you tell me she was sick?" I asked my mother abruptly and I heard her sigh.

She'd known of course that I would ask. She had simply thought I'd have the sense to wait until we were alone to broach such a delicate subject. But I couldn't wait. I had to know why I'd been kept in the dark. Grandmother had always been my rock and it pained me to know that when she'd needed me I hadn't been there for her.

"She didn't want you to know," Mother replied softly and I turned to her in surprise. That had been the last thing I'd expected her to say.

"What?" I asked as I lifted myself to my feet.

"Your grandmother…she didn't want you to know she was sick. She didn't want you to watch her die. She said…she said…"

Mother's eyes filled with tears and she brushed them back impatiently. Even now-at her own mother's burial she wouldn't let herself break down and I let the hand I had lifted in an instinctive gesture of comfort drop to my side.

"She said she wanted you to remember her as she'd been." She explained and I nodded. That had been my grandmother to a tee-always doing what was best for others.

"You should have told me. I deserved to know. I should have been there for her like she was always there for me…You should have told me," I reiterated and mother's mouth curved into a bitter smile.  
"I wanted to- I pleaded with her to let us contact you but she was adamant. And you know how she was when she got an idea in her head."

I lifted my head and looked her straight in the eye. "You never had a problem going against her wishes before," I told her and mother's blue eyes widened with hurt.

I knew it was a low blow but I couldn't bring myself to take the words back. She and grandmother had been at odds my whole life and while that had pained me as a child-as an adult I had learned to accept it. After all, I wasn't any closer to my own mother than she had been to hers.

"That isn't fair Josie."

Fury suddenly bubbled up inside of me, taking the place of grief. "None of this is fair Mother. It isn't fair that the grandmother I loved more than life itself is now buried in this cold, dank place. It isn't fair that she spent the last few months of her life in pain. It isn't fair that I wasn't there by her side to offer her some kind of comfort. It isn't fair that I never got to say goodbye…I never got to say goodbye," I whimpered.

"Josie…"

"You should have told me the truth. You had no right to keep her illness a secret from me and I will never forgive you for lying to me." I hissed angrily wiping the tears away.

She reached out to stop me from storming off but I shrugged her touch away. Out of the corner of my eye I saw my father approaching and I knew he'd seen us fighting and had come to play mediator. My father was a very handsome man- tall and muscular with swarthy skin and dark hair and eyes that contrasted nicely with mother's blond loveliness. I'd always thought they made a striking couple.

When he reached us, he slipped an arm around mother's tiny waist and I smiled slightly at the gesture. They'd always been such a team and sometimes I envied them their closeness. Giving my father a warm smile-he and I had always seen eye to eye- I pressed a kiss to his cheek then excused myself. He shook his head, his dark eyes somber, and then told me that grandmother's lawyer was waiting for us at the house for the reading of the will.

"Can't we postpone it?" I asked quietly and father shook his head.

"Your grandmother wanted her will to be read right away and Charles has to fly to Houston tonight." He explained.

I sighed my acceptance and we headed to the limousine that had brought us to the cemetery. The ride was made in silence and when we got back to the house, Phyllis- grandmother's longtime housekeeper, ushered us to the library.  
Charles Haywood, grandmother's lawyer, stood as we walked in, and offered his condolences. He had worked for my grandmother for some fifty odd years- and the two had been good friends. I knew he'd miss her as much as I.

Assembled in the room were my Uncle Ethan and his wife-along with my twin cousins. Ethan stood as well when we walked in and he hugged his sister before he turned to me.

"How are you holding up?" He asked kindly.

"I'm okay," I replied though we both knew that was a lie. He stared at me for a moment, and then squeezed my hand. 'We'll talk more later," He decreed and I nodded before taking a seat.

When we were all seated Charles cleared his throat and then began. "The will is very straightforward. Ms. Theresa divided her estate and her assets equally between her children and grandchildren. Each of you will also get another 5 percent of stock in the company, along with a monthly stipend that will remain separate from the money she placed in everyone's trust funds. Jane and Ethan-your trusts are yours free. Jane, Theresa willed you the Big House- and she left the condo in New York and the villa in Italy to Ethan."

Mother and Uncle Ethan nodded their understanding and Charles then turned his attention to me and my cousins. Because grandmother had explained her will to me, I grew restless listening to the legal mumbo-jumbo and I tuned him out. It was only when he mentioned my name that I was startled out of my reverie and I turned to look at him inquisitively.

"Jane, apart from the trust and the shares in the company-your grandmother left you some jewelry and some of her designs-along with this," he added softly handing me a plain wooden box.

I opened it slowly unsure of what I would find and gasped when I saw the stack of letters-all addressed to me- all written in grandmother's hand. Letters that I instinctively knew would change my life.

_My dearest Josie: _

The day that you were born was one of the happiest of my life. You stole my heart the instant I held your squirming body in my arms. Oh, you were screaming something fierce- even at that tender age you were a force to be reckoned with darling- and you let us know in no uncertain terms that you weren't happy with your new environment and you weren't going to put up with any abuse. Seeing your indignation made me laugh and I took you from the doctor and cuddled you close. You immediately ceased crying and as I stared into your sweet face I felt my heart burst with the fiercest love. Then you smiled at me and just like that a bond was forged between us, a bond that has only grown stronger with the passage of time.

I hope you know my darling, that you've been the light of my life and that I cherished every moment we spent together. Do you remember when I used to take you to work with me and you used to pass the time cutting paper dolls and dressing them with scraps? You used to say you wanted to follow in my footsteps and that one day you'd be as wonderful a designer as I was.

_How it pleases me to know that you have surpassed me. Sometimes I looked at you and marveled that something as beautiful, as talented, as unique as you could come from me. I am so proud of you and all that you've accomplished._

_You were such an inquisitive child my darling and when you were younger your questions were not welcomed. How could I explain to you what I never understood myself? I refused to answer your questions then- but I promise to do so now. There's so much I want to say to you, so much that needs to be explained- and so little time left to me. But if God is merciful this damned disease that has ravaged my body will wait just a little while more and I will have enough time to put into words all that is in my heart. Don't mourn me darling girl. I have lived a full life and though I made many mistakes along the way I wouldn't take them back because then I wouldn't have you-or your mother. Know that wherever I am I think of you and remember that I loved you with every fiber of my being._

_Always yours,_

_Grandmother_

**A/N- The concept for this story is borrowed from a book I just finished-but the plotline is all mine. The story itself is different from anything I've tried but I wanted to challenge myself a bit. Feedback is adored and will help me post chapters faster. If you didnt figure it out-Theresa is Josie's grandmother.**


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